willow trees

Among the winds and the willow trees
Lives an ancient spirit with a faraway heart
Her tears weep gentle songs
And her lyrics caress the cool evening breeze

Sadness imprisons her in this forest green
For in times now long crushed and forgotten
She planted seeds of love with quiet care
Only later to harvest regrets
Betrayal
Misfortune did she

During a spring rainfall
Her fragrant scent danced in the reflections in my eyes
The thickets and timbers implored me
Break the chains of misgivings surrounding her soul!
But I fell down
Shrouded in aphasia
For only the angels can set her free

So every night, I do what I can for the ancient spirit
I visit her and listen to the songs of her tears

Among the winds and the willow trees

happiness without time

We are in a stalemate with the fates. As if they are just sitting idly. The have that our most precious commodity; time. Something that we can never possess, yet constantly loose. How can we let slip something so intangible? Teasing us, as if we had some primary grip, some hold on the waning hours. The bedfellow of serenity is patience. This never ended loop of inconsistency. Time does not exist except for this moment. Can you really ever experience a sliver of awareness other than now? We try to hold on to the past, a lesson to learn from; a story to weave. We create a fiction to sustain what we think we understand. There is no real comprehension, only assumption. The altered sense of security in an existence that pretends to mock archaic structure. A system developed by insecure men to frame their own mortality. And then we have the future. We carry on with such an air of premonition. Thinking that we have some inkling. We warm ourselves at night in our suppositions of tomorrow. Letting it curl around our toes until we think we need it. We immerse ourselves in world of rules. A primordial reckoning woven to keep not only the masses in check, but in a sad attempt to lasso yesterday. To build a bridge to tomorrow. We have spun together a web of randomness. Something we try to hold together with the fibers of insecurity. Whether we travel by brute speed and passionate strides, or if we join the simple flow; the destination remains the same. What have you done with your journey? What do you ache for? What yearnings and desires drip from your very marrow like honey? Don’t tell me you have had a hard past. Tell me that the road here has calloused your feet, so that you may stand in the fire of life, and not wither back. Do not tell me you will have a successful life. Tell me that you are here, now, ready to take what comes downstream. Don’t assess your potential. Do not measure your past. Stand with me now, a pillar of fortitude, ready to outlast these frail rules. Silhouetting your own abandon. Be tall, be unsure, be yourself. Do that, and I will show you happiness.

a little salty

We have a 75 gallon salt water aquarium in our office lobby. This was something that I arranged for through a trade agreement with a client. Although we have a fish service that handles cleaning, general maintenance and fish replacement, I am taxed with the day-to-day care such as feeding, making sure it's running, etc.

I was told by our receptionist this morning that one of the blue damsels had somehow gotten out of the tank and into one of the resevoirs that sits behind and outside the tank.

the perpetrator

This little resevoir is filled with hoses and filters and other equipment. I couldn't get to him with the net, as there was so much in the way. So I pulled up the u-tube that connects the inner filter box with the outer resevoir (more than likely this is what he swam through to get there in the first place).

There is a five-gallon water tank that sits in the stand underneath, and feeds the main tank with salinized water. When I pulled the tube up, it broke the filtration cycle. All of the water in the bottom suddenly rushed to the main tank. Water started pouring over the top of the aquarium. Now, our office is rather ill-prepared to deal with water flowing into our lobby.

I freak for a second and then realize that I need something to contain the water that's going everywhere. I run to the kitchen and the only thing I can find is a coffee cup. Have you ever tried to displace five gallons of overflowing water with a 6 ounce styrofoam cup? Yeah... right tool for the right job does not come to mind.

Through manic scooping I managed to finally get the tank from overflowing. It now sits there with all the equipment turned off. The floor in the lobby is decidedly soggy. So am I. My cashmere sweater smells like fish water and I am salty in more ways than one.

The damsel is still in that back tank. He's going to stay in there awhile... probably until this afternoon when I have the patience to deal with him.

the dan band

Last night I went to the TLA on South Street to see the Dan Band. Some may know them from the movie Old School... in the beginning of the movie they were the band at the wedding that played a rather suggestive version of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart.

I was introduced to them about two years ago by Larry when we went to see them at the House of Blues in Atlantic City. There is the lead singer, Dan Finnerty who dresses like a mechanic. Then his two backup singers (his straight men) dressed in suits with glasses and slicked hair. They sing all female cover songs. You might know them from their Bravo special a little while back.

A few clips from the special:

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Hold On

Genie in a Bottle

What A Feelin' / Fame

Last night's show started with an ABBA medley that included Fernando / Waterloo / Dancing Queen. They continued on with songs like Nasty Boys, Shoop / Whatta Man / Never Gonna Get It / Push It, Say My Name, Genie In A Bottle / No Scrubs / Slave 4 U, Free Your Mind / I Am Woman, Milkshake, Tyrone / No More Drama, Hold On / Luka, Flashdance / Fame, and of course Total Eclipse Of The Heart

It was a great show last night. Live is the only way to really appreciate them.

on far away friends

My trip to England was simply amazing. I will be sure to recap in another post. But for now, it will serve as the initial setting for something else that is on my mind... friends.

You see, as much as I love - absolutely love visiting Lindsay... I also hate it. I hate it because when I leave, I feel that void. It reminds me how great it was when I could see her anytime and how I don't have her around now like that. And her husband, James. Just wonderful and who I enjoy more and more as I get to know him better.

Things change... I know this. But it doesn't make it easier. Lindsay and James on the other side of the ocean. Tawna was in Alaska and now is in friggin Thailand. Darrell across the country out in Oregon. And now it looks like Jon is stepping up plans for the Windy City. Could my friends be any further away?

It's almost like the people I make strong connections with end up being the furthest away. Is that a test of those connections? The strongest is meant to bare the greatest stress...

I don't need a test. I need a net.

An email of nonsensical whimsy

So I sent an email to a friend the other day congratulating her on her new apartment. I intimated that she should "hang out with her wang out like it's going out of style." She asked for clarification on the term wang, and this was my response:

Wang, or Wáng, as is the preferred Cantonese nomenclature romantization... literally translates to "king" - although the bearing on the name has no royal implications. Instead it is used here to infer a cross gender application. As traditional Chinese society does not adopt the European tenets of monarchies, there is sadly no translation for term "queen." So for the purposes of this discussion, we will use this implied bastardization to serve as a placeholder so that we can continue on a course of rational thought under an umbrella of mutual understanding. M'mkay pumpkin?

The initial preconception may be of a jovial celebration in anticipation of your new residence... or in more crude terms, a boisterous well-wishing of sorts. That as the only occupant of your new home, in even the lowest denominator, your title and station thrive without challenge and thereby designated you as the supreme ruler defacto (derived from the latin, confuto satraps). The realized analogic personification that you are indeed "Queen of the Castle."

In actuality, as socialistic as it may appear, my main assertion was to put the good of the whole above the good of the individual for the purpose of pointing out the gender distintions as they exist in the juxtaposted realities of eastern vs western etymologies. So it's not so much wishing you a warm welcome as the denizen of your new hearth and home as it is a searing vision of the wounds this century has inflicted on traditional masculinity.

P.S. Let me know if you want help picking out curtains!