Two weeks, a condensed version...

It’s been some time since I last posted. Quite a bit has happened since then.

Chocolate Mania

Leah and I went to Hershey the weekend after Valentine’s. It was a blast, but I can safely say that it will be some time before I can eat chocolate again…
- We went to Chocolate World, which was decent. Learned how to melt peanut butter for dipping, and had far too many chocolate treats. A lot of candy bar characters all dressed up for the kiddies. A bit strange, but still fun. Frankly though, I think Kit Kat was hitting on me.
- We took a trolley tour of the town, which oddly enough is not Hershey. We found out that Hershey does not exist as an actual location, but it is instead Derry Township. Hershey is only on the map because of a train station or something. Lots more chocolate treats. Any damn excuse they could find… First Hershey started with selling dark chocolate, oh and here’s some dark chocolate. Then Milton invented milk chocolate, oh and here’s some milk chocolate. The street lamps above your heads are shaped like kisses, oh and here’s some kisses. In 1931 he copyrighted the name hugs, oh and here’s some hugs. He bought out Reese’s and today it is the number one selling candy in the world, oh and here’s some peanut butter cups. We’d like to thank you for taking the tour, oh and here’s an original Hershey bar. I’m seeing a pattern here.
- We went to Zoo America. This was much better than I expected. Alligators, Lynx, Wolves, Bears and far too many owls for it to not be an obsession. Frankly though, I think the horned owl was hitting on Leah. Thought we were safe there from chocolate… we were wrong. So very wrong. They get you coming and going. Obsessed much?
- We check into the Hotel Hershey. Very nice place. I think its four stars. Upon check-in, can you guess what we each got? Uh-huh… a Hershey bar. There was a welcome check-in reception that featured hot cocoa, with spoonfuls of chocolate chips. I am convinced that every person in town is a major shareholder.
- We get to the room, where waiting for us is… wait for it… chocolate! A basket full. I want to throw a towel over it to hide it from view.
- We go to dinner and have salads. Can’t even finish them we’ve had so much sugar. We get back to our room and the bed has been turned down. Instead of the traditional mints, sitting on our pillows are kisses. Holy hell in a hand basket!
- The next morning is our day at the Hotel Spa. Even at this paramour of health, everything we are offered has some essence of cocoa in it, if not already flat out chocolate. Hot cocoa, chocolate tea, chocolate cake disguised as bread. Chocolate muffins. Whatever… I need to get out of there, so what do I do? I go get a cocoa massage! O-M-G!

In actuality, the whole spa things was nothing short of incredible, and adds yet another reason why I need to hit the lottery and be treated like that all the time.

Improvapalooza

Of course, this part of my life never slows…
- More rehearsals for HellBaby. Everyone is coming together nicely. I am overly anxious to get moving on this. I am just so damn excited about what this can be. All of the people are so different and so intriguing.
- Leah and I went with Jon and Diane to go see Psychopathia Sexualis, which stars Kelly from my HellBaby group. It was fun, but it the middle of nowhere. Crazy long drive, but worth it.
- Took my first Level 2 PHIT class with Bobbi. It was nice to get another perspective and I really enjoy her approach to longform. We spent some time on the La Ronde format, which I could live without, but what are you going to do, right? Just soaking it all in.
- We did a show at the Society Hill Playhouse where Mike, Rick and I did some longform as well as played in with the NCrowd. It was a blast to get to do some shortform again. Played an obnoxious Jewish housewife named Mrs. Morty Lowenstein for Poets and played this underwear fetish craved shoplifter in Film Noir with Kennedy. I have a lot of fun playing with her.
- Went to Improv Sundays at Fergies last night. Performing were the NCrowd, the Throng and the Cabal. They all had great sets. I haven’t seen the Throng in a really long time, and thoroughly enjoyed the evening. Rick gave me a ride home. When setting out, he warned me that he was parked somewhere near 10th & South (about 5 blocks from the venue). Not too bad of a walk, but certainly not wonderful when you consider how damn cold it is. Plus at 2am, the wind was kicking up something awful. Well, as it turns out, Rick was not parked at 10th & South, but rather 6th & Bainbridge. This was about three times the distance of which I was originally let to believe. Needless to say, I am currently plotting my revenge.
- We have the Anti-War show coming up on Friday. Booked for that night we have Rare Bird Show, fresh from their appearance at DSIF this weekend, and the Cabal, who utterly rocked it last night.
- Looks like Corey and I will be trying our hat again with Men About Town on Saturday. Rick ended up swinging the Shubin Theatre that night, so it appears we will have a night of duos. Aside from us, tentatively set to appear are Holmes/Maughan, Killer Pussy and ZombieShark. Greg is also looking to do something like this for the April Fergies gig.
- And prepare ye the way of the Toad. It looks like Hypnotoad will resurrect itself to playing a set at an upcoming SHP show. It’s been a really long time for us since we’ve last performed. Going back to basics.
- I got my itinerary for the Atlanta trip, and it looks like work booked me to leave on Saturday afternoon… the same time as Ari Voukydis’ workshop! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! So pissed. So bummed. Now we really need to get him down here for an intensive.

Okay, I need to stop typing now.

Snowed out

Everything was all set for Saturday night. We had the makings of a great show. One of my groups, the Ninjas, was set to perform at Grape Street along with Industrial Improv and HARSH of NYC.

I was incredibly excited that we were playing Grape Street, as its about a mile from my house, and usually I need to come into the city for shows. So I'd been promoting the hell out of it... flyers, word of mouth, etc. I talked to so many people, and told them that they had to come to the show. This was also an opportunity to get people out that normally wouldn't come clear to Center City for a show.

Seeming as how the venue was so close to my house, I originally suggested that my fellow group members swing by my place to grab a beer. Jon and I also recommended that our new HellBaby people come see the show, as HARSH is basically the inspirational catalyst behind what we are doing with that group. So since it looked like I could have as many as a dozen people over before the show, why not just open it up and have a little pre-party. This decision was made a couple of days before hand, and I sent out general invites to all.

So then comes Friday, and the weather report calls for snow... a lot of it. Reports varied, but overall they were saying a lot of snow later in the evening/night. No worries, plan ahead as normal... we hear no word from the venue that they intend to close, so we press on.

Saturday morning comes, and seems like a normal cold day. I head out to the store to pick up all kinds of drinks and goodies. I swing by Javie's and grab a bunch of beer. I go by Marciano's and get a huge tomato pie. I head home and start cleaning.

2:30 - 3:00, the first of the flakes start. Nothing serious at all. If anything, it's helpful by keeping the beer cold.

4:30, flakes are at a minimum, still not sticking. BJ arrives, followed shortly there after by Jon, Diane, Jon's Dad and Corey.

5:00, more people start rolling in. I give a tour of my house. Corey inexplicably spills beer on the 2nd floor. No big deal, just wiped it up. I continue the tour, Jon hits his head against the wall, spills beer on the 3rd floor. Still no big deal, but pretty funny at this point.

5:30, standing outside with the guys, snow is starting to stick, but not much.

5:45, get a call from Mike saying Grape Street is cancelled. Say what? Apparently they are not even going to open their doors. Mike was standing a few feet from the front door when he got the call. He couldn't convince them to stay open. We madly call everyone we know and tell them the show is cancelled. Since there is no show, Jon's Dad heads home. We decide the party will go on, 'cause damn if people are going to come clear to Manayunk for nothing. We get word that the HARSH people, who came all the way from NYC to perform, are drinking it up at 30th St. Station, cause what else are they going to do, right?

6:00, Mike shows up at my house and joins the party already in progress. Snow is starting to stick more, but still nominal. We spend the next half hour cursing Grape Street for their idiocy. I talk to Eileen from HARSH... she is not as pissed, and they are making the best of it through cheap booze and cigarettes (well, at least by NYC standards).

7:00, a few more friends show up. Drinking games inevitably arise.

7:30, Mike and BJ head out and see if they can go meet up with the HARSH crew. We hear that Industrial people have joined them.

7:45, we start a game called "Psychiatry" where Corey and I have to go outside. The remaining people all decide on some condition/ailment they all have, then Corey and I return to the room and begin to ask probing questions so as to discover what this condition is. Note: This sounds so much like a shortform game, and oddly enough, it was recommended by the two people in the entire room who were NOT improvisers.

8:15, I get a call from Patti, saying she is at the Brew Pub with a few people that came to see the show, and wanted to know what was up. I had forgotten to call Patti, and so then informed her that it was cancelled. They decided to come over.

8:30, Corey and I *finally* figure out their stupid ass condition. Patti and crew show up. Among them is this guy Joe who was up from North Carolina looking at houses, and is interested in HellBaby. I told him to come see the show, and had forgotten about him once it got cancelled. I didn't have his number anyway. So that ended up working out. We found out from our newest guests that there were at least a dozen people standing outside the venue in the snow, waiting for the show. This both amazes and pisses me off further.

8:45, Jon and I head back over to Javie's for another case of beer. We quickly realize that we've left Patti, Joe and crew shortly after they've arrived, without introducing them to anyone. Oh well, they're improvisers... so they can adapt, right? Ha!

9:30, people start making their way home, as the snow is starting to come down pretty heavily. We quickly end up with just Patti and her b/f Peter and Joe and his friend Scott. Drinking games ensue. Some include rhythm and clapping. My corn-fedness is apparent to all.

10:45, final shots before the last of the group heads to catch the last train into the city.

10:55, I run through the snow to the train station to take Peter his bag that he left by the door. Made it just in time... I notice snow is about 1-2 inches, and falling heavily.

11:30, Leah and I start cleaning up and then head to bed.

It felt like it was much later at the end of the night, but then I realized we started at 4pm, and so got in a good seven hours of partying.

I woke up the next morning to 13" of snow, a cancelled Level 2 class, and a world that was entirely too bright. I spent nearly two hours shoveling out of the yard and unburying the car. I moved out of Colorado for a reason, damnit!

And so it begins...

Wednesday evening the entire cast of HellBaby got together for a little Meet & Greet. We were supposed to meet up at the Black Sheep, but lo' and behold, not only did they have Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo, but they also had two private parties. This is the Black Sheep... on a Wednesday evening. Who would have figured?

Anyhoozle, we ended up making our way down to Fado's instead, which ended up working just fine. We all had a lot of fun, and got to know each other more. Everyone was really opening up, and weren't shy about discussing societal, political and ecological beliefs, which is awesome. We want the hard truth in the improv we're going to do, and this is a good way to start. Tell it like it is, and don't paint it in peuce!

You reach a point...

You reach a point in a show sometimes where people give up. I try with all of my might not to do this. I believe that you can overcome about anything if you accept, recognize patterns and heighten. But I also don't have control over my group, and how much they have invested in a particular show, so that's out of my hands. This was certainly the case last Thursday.

First off, we had our work cut out for us going into our set. The opening act didn't exactly get the crowd fired up. I've seen corpses with more energy, and that's putting it politely. But even with that, so what? It doesn't mean we can't come on and have a great set.

So slowly through the course of the piece, we were losing people, and not the audience, I mean performers. You could see it happening... members of the group would one by one just reach the point where they could no longer care, and just wanted the set to end. No one was listening. People were adding extraneous information. We weren't following the form. I include myself here.

Here are some key moments that lost performers... Jogging for Jesuits / Ambling for Athiests. Sex in a funeral parlor. Thor worshippers (again?). The angel Gabriel for the FOURTH TIME!! and then the one that lost me...

Raining whores. L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y.
A rainstorm of hookers falling from the sky. Thank you and goodnight!

We are so much better than this. I am sick of having nice rehearsals only to go out and do crap shows. I know the talent that exists in my group. I witness it weekly... but there is some strange phenomenon that occurs when we go out and perform for the public. And again, I don't preclude myself from this either.

It's a recipe for disaster:

- 2 cups of anxiousness
- 1 12oz can of patience/discovery sauce
- 1 package of thought
- 4 spoonfuls of sterotypes
- 1 cup of gay sex
- 1 cup of religion
- 3 cups of scraps from previous batch
- 2 puns
- 3 first beats
- 3 second beats
- 3 third beats
- 2 pipelines
- 1 cup icing


- Add anxiousness, the first pipeline and 1 spoonful of stereotypes. Let simmer over low heat. Separate patience from discovery sauce and set aside. You will not need patience for this recipe. Open 1 package of thought, remove intelligence and only add base humor to the simmering mix. Throw in the first beats and add remaining sterotypes to taste. Take 1-2 second beats and add to mix, but make sure to keep at least one out. Add either 1 cup gay sex or religion. For best results, use both. Increase heat and bring to a rapid boil. Take scraps of material from old shows and beat for 3 minutes. Add puns as needed. Add second pipeline if you feel like it. Remove from heat and let cool. Once film begins to form on top, quickly add remaining third beats. Throw in oven for five minutes at 700 degrees. Remove from oven, turn pan over and dump everything on the floor. Use icing to spell out "Thank you, and goodnight!"

And we have a cast...

The end of last week was incredibly difficult. We had some pretty amazing people come out for the group, and had to make some hard decisions. But we did what we had to do, and now have a full cast for HellBaby. Matter of fact, we even took one more person than we were originally looking to. So now there are seven:

Alison Kubiak
Chris Welsh
Debra Stewart
Jon Sales
Kelly Vrooman
Matt Nelson
Patti Cleary


Yup. 3 Men, 4 Women. HellBaby is going to be an EstroFest, and will be all the stronger for it. We have some great people, and I am really excited. What's more, most of the people in the group are pretty damn fresh to the Philly scene. They all seem hungry for what we are doing, and excited to explore what can come out of this.

I am also interested to see what Nathan can do with us. I really like his style, and want to see what happens when he can finally spread his wings a little on the coaching side.

We're having a meet-and-greet on Wed night, and that's the first time we will all be together. It should be interesting to witness the overall dynamic as it forms. We have a myriad of people from different backgrounds, geographical locations and a nice age range. Should make for some eclectic inspiration...

Heart Attack!

Holy shite! She called me back and we're booked!