You reach a point...

You reach a point in a show sometimes where people give up. I try with all of my might not to do this. I believe that you can overcome about anything if you accept, recognize patterns and heighten. But I also don't have control over my group, and how much they have invested in a particular show, so that's out of my hands. This was certainly the case last Thursday.

First off, we had our work cut out for us going into our set. The opening act didn't exactly get the crowd fired up. I've seen corpses with more energy, and that's putting it politely. But even with that, so what? It doesn't mean we can't come on and have a great set.

So slowly through the course of the piece, we were losing people, and not the audience, I mean performers. You could see it happening... members of the group would one by one just reach the point where they could no longer care, and just wanted the set to end. No one was listening. People were adding extraneous information. We weren't following the form. I include myself here.

Here are some key moments that lost performers... Jogging for Jesuits / Ambling for Athiests. Sex in a funeral parlor. Thor worshippers (again?). The angel Gabriel for the FOURTH TIME!! and then the one that lost me...

Raining whores. L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y.
A rainstorm of hookers falling from the sky. Thank you and goodnight!

We are so much better than this. I am sick of having nice rehearsals only to go out and do crap shows. I know the talent that exists in my group. I witness it weekly... but there is some strange phenomenon that occurs when we go out and perform for the public. And again, I don't preclude myself from this either.

It's a recipe for disaster:

- 2 cups of anxiousness
- 1 12oz can of patience/discovery sauce
- 1 package of thought
- 4 spoonfuls of sterotypes
- 1 cup of gay sex
- 1 cup of religion
- 3 cups of scraps from previous batch
- 2 puns
- 3 first beats
- 3 second beats
- 3 third beats
- 2 pipelines
- 1 cup icing


- Add anxiousness, the first pipeline and 1 spoonful of stereotypes. Let simmer over low heat. Separate patience from discovery sauce and set aside. You will not need patience for this recipe. Open 1 package of thought, remove intelligence and only add base humor to the simmering mix. Throw in the first beats and add remaining sterotypes to taste. Take 1-2 second beats and add to mix, but make sure to keep at least one out. Add either 1 cup gay sex or religion. For best results, use both. Increase heat and bring to a rapid boil. Take scraps of material from old shows and beat for 3 minutes. Add puns as needed. Add second pipeline if you feel like it. Remove from heat and let cool. Once film begins to form on top, quickly add remaining third beats. Throw in oven for five minutes at 700 degrees. Remove from oven, turn pan over and dump everything on the floor. Use icing to spell out "Thank you, and goodnight!"