who is the real perpetrator?

Victimization is most often the individual preyed upon by their own interpretation and memory of events perceived as negative and hurtful. It’s the holding and replaying of a memorialized and painful event infused with meaning and significance that threatens our own egoic stories. We then continue to victimize ourselves over and again by constantly replaying these memories, leading to regression and the reduction of our life. How is it that we have become perpetrators in the perpetuation of our own slow dissolution? We have taken over for the original victimizer and continue the flagellation, keeping the wounds alive.

We often offer absolution to others, forgetting to forgive ourselves. We feed this cycle of recrimination. There's no need.